Anime Chaos!
by wolfieXchica19
Summary: Saw version...chapter four...freakin hilarious...read.
1. Kakashi In Trouble 1

Nori: OK GUYS! Time for fic number FOUR! Yes! This fic is going to be funny…since all the conflicts I have in my other fics are all serious!

Tama: Oh god, here we go…

Nori: And another surprise isssss…ME AND TAMA ARE GOING TO BE IN THIS FIC! YAY!!!!

Tama: I think people need to know about us more…so why don't we put character profiles about ourselves!

Nori: That's a good idea! You're a smart cookie!

Tama: (mumbles) well someone needs to be around here…

Nori: HERE'S CHARACTER PROFILES ABOUT US!

Tamarae-

Height-5'4"

Eyes-Bright Green

Hair-Little past shoulders, straight, dark auburn, bangs on each side of forehead

Demon-Fox/Fire (orange-red fox ears and tail with white tip)

Demon Form-small reddish orange fox with white paws, white tipped tail and ears

Noriko-

Height-5'1"

Eyes-Crystal Blue

Hair-super short in back, gradually gets longer in front, stops at chin, bangs that go to one side and cover eye

Demon-Darkness/Wolf (all dark black ears and tail)

Demon Form-all black wolf with bright blue eyes

Nori: There you guys go, now you know a little more about us! This fic is going to be with Naruto and YuYu Hakusho, so enjoy! Tama please do the disclaimer.

Tama: Aye aye! Nori does not own YYH or Naruto or any of its characters but she does own the ideas and well…us. Wait no! I own myself! She can own herself…

Nori: READ IT!

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Nori: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tama: (walks into family room) Why are you screaming?

Nori: Today is Kakashi's birthday! We didn't even get him a present!

Tama: (blinks) Shit, you're right…

Nori: (looking around room frantically for a good birthday present) What do we get him!?

Tama: I don't know…maybe we should ask Sasuke, Naruto, or Sakura…

Nori: NO! They will tell him! We have to do this on our own!

Tama: (ponders on what to get Kakashi for his birthday)

Nori: (ponders as well) What to get a 26-year-old perverted copy ninja for his birthday…

Tama&Nori: EMO BOY MAKE UP!

Nori: Yes! That will even get him to take his mask off! We rock at this.

Tama: We really do…the thing is…who said Kakashi will ever wear make up?

Nori: (smiles maniacally) Oh, I know a way we can get him to wear it…or at least just take off the mask!

Tama: (is scared) Oh god…what's your plan?

Nori: (whispers plan to Tama)

Tama: (grins) That's a good idea! Since when did you become smart?

Nori: You have no idea.

Tama: I don't even think that made sense, but let's get to work!

Nori: (nods and the two run upstairs to get ready and to get Kakashi's makeup)

_-At Kakashi's House in Konoha-_

Sasuke: (knocks on Kakashi's bedroom door) Kakashi! Open up! I know you're there!

(Silence)

Sakura: Do you think Kakashi-sensei is ok, Sasuke?

Sasuke: Well, we haven't been on a mission in awhile so he should be fine.

Sasuke&Sakura: (hear Kakashi's front door open and two people walk inside)

Voice #1: Dude, this better work!

Voice #2: Don't worry! Kakashi is a pervert! Of course it will work, he can't resist us!

Voice #1: (mumbles) Kurama is going to murder me…

(The two people…well demons…walk upstairs)

Sasuke&Sakura: (see Nori and Tama) O.o

Tama: (Wearing extremely slutty tube top and a super short skirt with black hooker boots) What?

Nori: (Wearing slutty half shirt and shorts with fishnets and heels) You like?!

Sasuke: (wide eyes) Um…uh…I-ah…

Sakura: Don't those show a little too much skin?

Tama: Yea, but its all part of this genius's plan to get Kakashi to take off his mask.

Nori: (smiles and wags wolf tail)

Sasuke: Why do you guys care what's under Kakashi's mask?

Nori: Why don't you?

Sasuke: (about to say something but then stops)

Nori: That's what I thought! Now where is that pervert? (looks around)

Sakura: We think he's in his bedroom but we keep knocking and no one opens the door.

Tama: (looks at door) How do you know he's in there?

Sasuke: Because he's nowhere else in town.

Tama: Oh…well let's try this! (kicks door down) There! Now that's how it's done!

Nori: To shay! (claps)

Tama: (bows)

Everyone: (looks into Kakashi's bedroom)

Kakashi: (sitting on his bed looking like he hasn't slept in weeks and is hugging knees and rocking back and forth)

Everyone: (stares in shock)

Nori: (walks into his room next to Kakashi) Um…dude…you ok?

Kakashi: (looks up at Nori and notices her slutty clothes) AH NO! MY EYES THEY BURN! GET IT AWAY!

Nori: (glares at Kakashi) WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY!? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!? (about to kill Kakashi)

Sasuke: (pulls Nori back)

Tama: (walks over to Kakashi) What's up with you?

Kakashi: (now notices Tama's slutty clothing) AH!!! WHAT ARE YOU ALL TRYING TO DO!? KILL ME OR SOMETHING!?

Tama: There's something wrong with him…usually he would take this chance to try and grope us.

Kakashi: (is covering eyes and mumbling about his happy place)

Nori: Maybe it's a code blue?

Tama: (talks softly and nicely to Kakashi) Hey, Kakashi, is this time for code blue? Have you not had sex with Kurenai in a long time?

Nori: Its ok, Kakashi. We can go find her and you two can fuck like there's no tomorrow!

Sasuke&Sakura: (are scarred for life)

Kakashi: (in shaky voice) N-no…t-that's not it…

Tama: What's wrong then?

Kakashi: (gulps) Kurenai…

Tama&Nori: (listening attentively) Yes?

Kakashi: Kurenai…..

Tama/Nori/Sasuke/Sakura: (still listening attentively) Yesssss?

Kakashi: She…

Nori: SPIT IT OUT ALREADY BEFORE I CUT YOUR BALLS OFF!

Kakashi: KURENAI TOLD ME I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY DAYS AS BEING A PERVERT AND READING MAKE OUT PARADISE!

Everyone: (gasps overdramatically)

Tama: Oh my god it's a sign of the apocalypse!

Nori: OH SHIT WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!! (runs in circles until Sasuke trips her) Ow…

Sasuke: Well, I've had enough excitement for one day…(walks out of Kakashi's room)

Sakura: Uh…I'm going with him! (runs after Sasuke)

Nori: Kakashi, maybe this will cheer you up! (holds up bag containing Kakashi's birthday present)

Tama: (takes bag from Nori and hands it to Kakashi)

Kakashi: (has shaky hands but opens the bag, pulls out make up) Um…what would I do with this? (holds up black eyeliner and lipstick)

Nori: Wear it, silly!

Kakashi: But I'm a man…not a girl…

Tama: Hello! Haven't you heard of that new faggot-I mean awesome trend called emo?

Kakashi: (shakes head)

Tama: Just take off your mask and put it on!

Kakashi: I'm not taking off my mask.

Nori: Ok, then we'll help you! (goes to take off Kakashi's mask but Kakashi pushes her away, grumbles at him and crosses her arms)

Tama: Just take off the mask now you fucking douche bag!

Kakashi: I'm not taking off the mask! No one is supposed to see my face!

Nori: Fine, if you won't take it off, then we have to resort to plan B…the plan of torture.

Tama: We have a plan b?

Nori: We didn't before until I just thought up this one!

Tama: Ohhh! What is it?

Nori: We take Kakashi to the…STRIP CLUB!

Kakashi: (face of shock…well the part of his face we can see is in shock) No! Anything but that!

Nori: Oh yes! We are going to do that. Let's tie him up, Tama.

Tama: (nods and pulls ropes out of nowhere)

Nori&Tama: (tie up Kakashi and drag him off)

_-At the Konoha Local Strip Club-_

Nori: Yes! We're here! (still dragging Kakashi)

Tama: (also dragging Kakashi) Ha! Let the fun begin. (looks at Kakashi evilly)

Kakashi: NO! DON'T PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THIS!

Nori: Shut up, Kakashi. You had a choice! You could've just taken off your stupid mask, but nooo! You just had to do things the hard way!

Tama: Let's go! (drags Kakashi and Nori into the club)

(Loud music is playing in the club. Tons of slutty girls and hot sweaty guys dancing all over. People pole dancing, other people throwing money.)

Nori: (unties Kakashi)

Kakashi: (is about to run out but Tama and Nori each grab one of his wrists)

Tama: You're staying!

Kakashi: But, if Kurenai finds me here! She'd kill me! I can't be perverted anymore!

Nori: Well that's what you get once you become whipped!

Kakashi: (glares at Nori)

Nori: (smiles innocently)

Tama: Let's dance!

Nori: (nods and drags Kakashi onto the dance floor as he tries to resists but fails miserably)

(Tama and Nori start dancing to the music while Kakashi just stands there covering his eyes…well…eye)

Tama: Come on! You brought this on yourself.

Nori: ANOTHER IDEA!

Tama: Man, you're on a role today…(secretly marks down Nori having three surprisingly good ideas on her pocket calendar)

Nori: (pushes Kakashi onto the stage where the strippers are)

Stripper #1: Hey cutie!

Kakashi: (gawks at the girl then shakes his head and goes to run off the stage)

Stripper #2: Hey, get back here! (pulls Kakashi back and he falls into a chair that is on stage)

(Three strippers begin to give Kakashi lap dances)

Kakashi: (is covering his eyes) Sorry, girls, but I have a girlfriend, and she's going to murder me!

Stripper #3: Oh, she's not here! Don't worry about it!

Kakashi: NORI! TAMA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!

Nori&Tama: (are laughing hysterically)

Stripper #2: (pulls up Kakashi and brings him over to the stripper pole)

Stripper #3: Come on, show us what you got!

Stripper #1: (giggles)

Nori: KA-KA-SHI! KA-KA-SHI!

Whole Strip Club: KA-KA-SHI! KA-KA-SHI! KA-KA-SHI!

Kakashi: (sighs and then finally gives in and begins dancing erotically)

Nori&Tama: (are disturbed, yet find it sort of hot) O.o

Tama: (looks at Nori) Did you ever see him do that…?

Nori: (slowly shakes head)

Kurenai: (walks up to Nori and Tama) Hey guys what's up-OH MY GOD! (sees Kakashi dancing and taking off his vest) KAKASHI!

Kakashi: (sees Kurenai) Oh shit! (runs off stage and to Kurenai, kisses her) Hey, honey, h-how are you?

Kurenai: (steam coming from ears) Kakashi! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT YOU BEING PERVERTED!

Kakashi: This wasn't my idea I swear! They did it! (points to spot where Nori and Tama used to be but now they are gone) HEY! Where'd they go!

Kurenai: Yea, sure, Kakashi, just blame those two.

Nori&Tama: (running as far away as they can from the strip club)

Nori: Well, that was disturbing, yet really fun!

Tama: I know! Let's get Kakashi in trouble like that more often!

Nori: Deal! Next time…let's get him drunk!

Tama: Good idea! WHOA! Nori, you're on good idea number four today, it's a record!

Nori: I know! I know!

(Both girls hear: "NORIKO! TAMARAE! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" coming from the strip club.)

Tama: Shit, let's hurry up and get the hell out of here!

Nori: Agreed!

Tama&Nori: (run out of Konoha and back to their home)

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Nori: Yay! Chapter numero uno finished!

Tama: Nice!

Nori: Yes, this one wasn't as funny as the others soon to come are going to be though!

Tama: This will be interesting!

Nori: Yes, read and review! No flames please!


	2. Tama Vs General Toaster

Nori: Well chapter one didn't take me long to write so here goes chapter two! I hope this one doesn't take too long either.

Tama: Good luck with that cuz of your ADDness…

Nori: Yea, I'll be needing that. Well…let's have KUWABARA do the disclaimer today!

Kuwabara: AH! Nori! Why can't you ever do the disclaimer yourself?

Nori: Um, because I'm writing this whole thing, so shut up and just say it!

Kuwabara: (sighs) Nori doesn't own YYH and Naruto or any of the characters from those shows, but she does own herself…and her best friend Tama owns herself.

Nori: READ IT! Oh yea! Side note here people! This chapter isn't going to be in script form because it's only about Tama really!

Tama: Oh god…I'm worried.

Nori: You should be! ON WITH IT!

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It was nine thirty AM. Tama was in her room sleeping peacefully with no one interrupting her. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Tama sat up and stretched.

"Ah!" she sighed. "Finally, there's a morning where Nori doesn't wake me up!"

Tama threw the covers off of herself and walked into the bathroom to shower and change. The house was surprisingly quiet, no noise but her looking through her drawers for clothes to wear that day.

After Tama picked out her clothes she went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. She threw on her clothes once she got out and dried her hair and fox ears a bit, not bothering to put any make up on yet.

She walked downstairs looking around for her friends. No one was around. This surprised Tama, usually there was at least one other person besides her there in the house whether it was Nori, Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara, or even Genkai or Koenma! Something wasn't right…

Nori and Tama both used to live in Makai, but Koenma had forced them to work with the Spirit Detectives and the girls decided, hey! If they're going to be on the team, why not get a house in the human world to stay in. Tama sometimes went to school with Kurama and Nori refused to do almost anything that had to do with humans…besides torturing them.

Tama decided to try searching the kitchen. They always had food and there was someone almost always eating it.

She walked in and no one was there.

"What the hell?" Tama asked herself. Doomie, Nori's pet talking lava rock of doom, wasn't even in there. "Where is everyone?"

The house was silent.

"Whatever," Tama said. "They are probably off doing something stupid." Then Tama's stomach growled. "Man, I'm hungry!"

She walked over to the cupboard and opened it up. There was a lot of cereal and pop tarts, but Tama wasn't in the mood for that today.

"Doughnut?" she pondered out loud. "Nah…" she wasn't sure what she wanted.

Then she noticed a loaf of unopened bread lying out on the counter.

"I know!" she shouted. "Toast sounds good!"

Tama picked up the bag of bread and opened it. She grabbed two pieces of it and put them on a plate. Then she went to the fridge and got out butter, she always pulled out a butter knife from one of the drawers in the kitchen.

She walked over to the toaster with her plate of bread. The toaster was plain and silver with two slots for two pieces of bread and a lever you would push down for the bread to go in.

Tama put a piece of bread in each slot and went to push the button down…but then…the toaster moved to the side.

"What the fuck…?" Tama said.

She tried to press down the button again, but the toaster moved the other way. She kept trying to press the button down with her one finger but the toaster just kept on dodging it. Tama was beginning to get fed up.

"FUCKING TOASTER!" she shouted. Then it hit her. Toasters were inanimate objects…why was this one moving? She just stared at it in confusion and fear.

"Fucking toaster!"

Tama looked around.

"Who said that?" she called.

"Fucking toaster!" the voice shouted again. It sounded like a child's high-pitched voice.

Tama looked at the toaster. It now had two little bat wings on the top of it, two arms coming out of each side and two big eyes and a mouth with little fangs on the flat side of it.

Tama's jaw dropped. Had someone drugged her last night? Did her friends put hidden video cameras all over the house just to watch her act like an idiot from the drugs? She just wasn't sure.

"Fucking idiot!" the toaster said with a smile. Tama glared at it, then tried tackling it. The toaster just flew above her causing Tama to smash into the counter.

"You stupid toaster, get back here!" she yelled at it.

Tama chased the toaster all over the kitchen, but it flew so it was just out of reach.

"I not stupid!" the toaster said in its child-like voice. "NOT STUPID! AHHHHH!!!!! NOT STUPID NOT STUPID!" it began to spaz out.

Tama just stared at the thing in horror. Why was a toaster yelling at her?

"MUST DESTROY FOX!" it shouted. "ATTACK!" The flying toaster pointed to Tama.

Just then the freezer door flew open. Inside were many angry faced frozen food products. There were angry freeze pops, ice cream, tubs of gravy (those were Nori's), waffles, sausages, and ice packs. They all glared at Tama and jumped on her.

She screamed and tried to dodge the items, but they all jumped on her and began stabbing her with toothpicks.

"Ow! How the hell did you guys get toothpicks in the freezer?" Tama shouted as she tried pushing the food off of her. It was no use though, there were just too many!

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" a freeze pop shouted as it stabbed her with the toothpick in it's hand.

Tama looked up at the toaster flying above her. Now it was wearing an army general hat and badge and held one of the nightsticks in its hand.

"What the fuck?" Tama said looking up at it. She began to push the food off of her again.

"TEN HUT!" the toaster shouted.

In a blink of an eye all the food was off Tama and standing in an orderly fashion in front of the flying toaster.

"MY BITCHES AND HOES!" the toaster shouted. "This has become a WAR! I want you all to go out there and die for your country of FreezerLand and for your all mighty and powerful master!"

"SIR!" all the food shouted and saluted.

"Now go out there and make me proud!" the toaster shouted, rising up his nightstick. "Destroy the enemy!"

The food all cheered and looked back over to Tama. Tama's eyes went wide in shock and she quickly stood up and ran out of the kitchen. The food and toaster all ran after her.

"I can't believe I'm running from food," Tama said to herself. "Something is soooo wrong with my brain right now…"

Just as Tama was about to run outside she saw Nori's pet talking lava rock of doom, Doomie.

"Good! Doomie! You can help me!" Tama shouted running over to the lava rock that was by the back glass door. "Food is chasing me and trying to kill me!" she told him.

Doomie just looked at her and blinked. He grinned showing off his little fang.

The frozen food ran around to corner and spotted Tama standing by Doomie. They immediately stopped charging and got on their knees and bowed.

"Our Master!" they all said. "Doomie!"

Tama looked at the food in shock and then back at Doomie. This was all a nightmare.

"AH!!!!!" Tama shouted and ran the other way.

"ATTACK HER!" Doomie shouted, his voice too was child-like.

The flying toaster came over to Doomie and saluted him. Doomie saluted back.

"General Toaster!" he said. The toaster nodded and chased after them. Then they all heard the front door open.

"Hiei! I so won that round!" Nori's voice came. Tama heard it as well.

"Hn, whatever wolf," Hiei's voice was heard as well.

"BACK TO YOUR STATIONS!" the toaster shouted. All the food saluted and ran back into the kitchen all jumping into the freezer and the toaster went back onto the counter.

Tama ran to the door where Hiei and Nori were.

"Thank god you guys are here!" she shouted. Hiei and Nori looked at Tama questioningly. "First a toaster started flying, then I called it stupid and it got mad at me and then it got frozen food to start attacking me and Doomie was the leader of them all and they tried killing me!"

Nori and Hiei both looked at Tama like she was crazy now. Doomie came hopping over to Nori. He stopped in front of her and held up his arms. Nori picked him up and hugged him.

"Uh…Tama…I think you had a little too much to drink last night," Nori told her. "Me and Hiei will be upstairs…" Then Nori walked upstairs carrying Doomie with Hiei following. As they went up Doomie stuck his tongue out at Tama over Nori's shoulder. Tama just screamed and ran out of the house.

Doomie giggled.

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Nori: YAY! Done!

Tama: Oh my god you need a life…

Nori: Yes I do! Please read and review!!!!


	3. Doomie's Curse

Nori: Alright, I need a funny fic to work on now.

Tama: Yes, now I'm helping on this chapter too!

Nori: YAAAAAAY!

Tama: YAAAAAAY!

Hiei::to Kurama:: Why do we hang around here?

Kurama: I'm…not…sure…

Nori: Kurama, you'd better watch it, cuz this chapter is about you!

Tama: YAAAAAAY!…AGAIN!

Nori: I don't own YYH or Naruto, or any of the characters, but I own myself…Tama…well owns herself…and I OWN THE IDEAS! GO!

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_-In the Morning at Kurama's-_

Nori::is in her demon form, sneaking around the house humming the James Bond theme song::

Hiei::walks out of his bedroom and notices Nori:: What are you doing…

Nori::stops and stays perfectly still:: You don't see me.

Hiei: No, I don't. ::walks away::

Nori::crawls into Kurama's room and slowly peeks over the end of his bed. Notices Tama laying there too:: GASP! What is Tama doing here? Hmm…Do I want to find out? …YES::pounces onto the two singing WAKE UP WAKE UP ON A TUESDAY NIGHT!::

Kurama::wakes up:: Ow, Nori! What are you doing?

Nori: I think the real question here is, WHAT ARE YOOOOOU DOING!?

Kurama: Uh…that doesn't even make sense…

Nori: Yes it does, you just don't want to answer the question! How come Tama is in your bed! ANSWER MISTER!

Tama::wakes up and sees Nori:: Why are you in here?

Nori: Why are yooooou in here?

Kurama: STOP REPEATING EVERYONE'S QUESTIONS!

Tama and Nori: O.O

Nori::disappears from room::

Kurama::gets out of bed and stretches:: Good morning.

Tama::yawns:: Morning! Why was Nori in here…?

Kurama: I'm not sure, but at least she's gone. ::walks over to one of his new plants by his window and touches it::

Plant: NOOO WHYYYYYY::drops dead::

Kurama: O.O

Tama: That plant…can talk?

Kurama: It's not supposed to…and its new, why did it die already?

Tama: Maybe you fed it something bad.

Kurama: I gave it water…

Tama::shrugs:: You never know::gets out of bed:: Well, I'm going to go shower. ::skips out of room::

Kurama: I live with strange people... ::walks out of room and into kitchen::

Shiori: Good morning, Shuuichi.

Kurama: Good morning, mother. ::walks over to cupboard to get a box of Boo-Berry cereal, grabs the box::

Boo-Berry Cereal Box: YOU BASTARD::explodes and cereal goes everywhere::

Kurama: What…

Shiori: Shuuichi? What's going on?

Kurama: It's probably just one of Nori's pranks. ::cleans up cereal pieces::

Shiori::laughs:: That Nori, well I'm off to work. Bye, sweetie. ::leaves the house::

Kurama: Bye, mother.

_-After Picking Up All the Cereal-_

Kurama::sighs and walks upstairs:: I need a shower. ::hears Nori's voice from around the corner::

Nori::whispering:: Shit! Hiei! He's coming!

Hiei: It was your fault baka!

Nori: But you made me!

Kurama::walks around the corner to see the carpet wet and glass all over the floor::

Hiei::has bloody katana in his hands, once he sees Kurama quickly puts it behind his back::

Nori::standing with her hands behind her back, smiling innocently::

Kurama: What happened here?

Nori: Well, you see…me and Hiei were just standing here innocently making out and then a horde of evil Czechoslovakian bag pipes came stampeding through your house and we had to fight them off and by accident knocked over the glass bowl with the thing swimming in it::smiles::

Hiei::looking at Nori like she's insane…which she is:: What's a bag pipe?

Nori::whispers to Hiei:: I don't know but I saw it on one of Kurama's CD cases in his room.

Kurama: Wow, thanks for saving my house.

Nori: No problem!

Hiei::is now looking at Kurama like he's gone insane::

Kurama: Too bad that I didn't believe a word you said, except for the making out part.

Nori::whispers:: Damn…

Kurama: Both of you show me your hands.

Hiei::holds out his hands which are clean::

Nori::still has hands behind her back and is whistling and looking around::

Kurama: Noriko…

Nori::ears bend down and frowns, holds out hands which are bloody and wet with an almost dead goldfish on them::

Kurama::wide eyes:: PENELOPE!

Hiei: What's a Penelope?

Kurama::grabs the fish from Nori's hands::

Penelope::gasping for…water:: Kurama…come…come c-closer.

Kurama::brings his hands up to his neck area::

Penelope: C-c-closer…

Kurama::brings his hands up to his face::

Penelope::smacks him across the face with fin and in a hoarse voice says in a raspy voice…:: Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend::dies::

Kurama::stares at the fish and has a small red mark on his cheek in the shape of a fin:: Penelope… ::glares at Hiei and Nori::

Nori: Uh, Hiei, that's our cue::disappears::

Hiei::disappears::

Kurama::walks into bathroom and wraps Penelope up in toilet paper and goes into shower::

_-After Kurama's shower(Outside)-_

Kurama::is digging a hole to bury Penelope, every time he touches the grass around him it turns brown and feels like straw::

Tama::walks over to Kurama:: What are you doing?

Kurama: Burying my fish.

Tama: How'd it die?

Kurama: Ask Nori and Hiei.

Tama: Ah, I see. Well, sorry about your fish. I'll try and control Noriko more.

Kurama::nods:: You know, a lot of strange things have been happening to me today.

Tama: Like what?

Kurama: Every time I touch something…it'll start talking and then die…or explode.

Tama: O.o Well, uh…maybe you just need more sleep.

Kurama::rubs his temples:: Maybe you're right. I think I'm going to go take a nap. ::walks into house and up into his bed. Lays down on bed::

Nori::whispering:: Doomie, did you really do that?

Doomie::nods and smiles showing off a fang::

Nori: Wow, you're a smart evil talking lava rock of doom::pats Doomie's head:: What if he touches a person?

Doomie::shakes head::

Nori: Ok good. ::picks up Doomie and walks away::

_-In Kurama's Bedroom-_

Kurama::walks into room and flops down on his bed::

Pillow: Mefph cafkdt briatedch!

Kurama::gets up and looks at the pillow:: What now?

Pillow::is gasping for air:: Can't breath! I-I can see the light! It's coming closer…closer… ::dies::

Kurama::jumps up and throws pillow to the ground:: WHY DOES EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIE!?!?!?

Hiei/Nori/Tama::are standing in the doorway::

Hiei/Tama: O.O

Nori::snickering::

Kurama::looks in the doorway, is having a mental breakdown:: What do you want?

Tama::walks into the room:: Uh, sweetie, are you alright::is about to touch his forehead::

Kurama::backs away:: Don't come near me! Everything I touch is dying! I can't kill you too!

Nori::is now laughing hysterically::

Hiei::looks at the wolf demon:: What did you do?

Nori::between fits of laughter:: N-n-nothing! HA HA HA!

Hiei: You're a horrible liar.

Nori::continues to laugh::

Tama: Ok, Kurama, calm down, I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation to everything that's been happening today. Just tell me what went on.

Kurama: Alright, well, you saw the plant that died this morning, then I went to get cereal and the box exploded, then when Nori gave me Penelope half dead she smacked me then died, and while I was in the shower random things I touched died, and while I was burying Penelope the grass I touched would turn to straw.

Tama: O.o Um, ok, maybe there really isn't a logical explanation to any of that.

Kurama::flops down on bed:: I'm getting very aggravated!

Tama::afraid for her life because Kurama is showing emotion::

Nori::still laughing:: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! IT WAS DOOMIE! HE PUT A LITTLE MAGIC SPELL TO PRANK KURAMA! HE TOLD ME ABOUT IT TODAY!

Tama/Kurama::face fault::

Nori::…laughing…:: I'll get him to get rid of the spell. ::walks away laughing::

Hiei::looks at Nori, then follows her::

Kurama::calm again:: One day…I'm going to kill that wolf demon and her lava rock.

Tama: Won't we all…

-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Nori: Haha, done! Yippee! That took forever too!

Tama: Wow, it really did.

Nori: Shut up, anyways read and review please, no flames!


	4. Kakashi In Trouble 2

Nori: YAY! Here we go with chapter four I think it is…

Tama: You aren't even sure what chapter you're on?

Nori: Nope! (smiles)

Tama: (shakes head) Who should do the disclaimer today?

Nori: I don't know…you choose!

Tama: I choose you….PIKACHU!

Pikachu: Pika?

Nori: But all he says is Pika…Pi…or Pikachu…

Tama: (smiles) I know this.

Nori: Fine, I'll do it. Ok, I do not own YYH, Naruto or any of the characters,,,besides me…and well Tama owns herself. I also don't own the whole Saw concept of this chapter! SO READ IT BITCHESSSS!

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

_-In A Dark Room-_

Kakashi: (opens his eyes and sees darkness, jumps up) OH MY GOD! I'VE GONE BLIND!

Voice in room: No, no you haven't.

Kakashi: W-who's there?

VIR: It's meeeee.

Kakashi: Conscience? Is that you?

VIR: No, you mask wearing homo, it's me!

Kakashi: Who the hell is in here!?!?!?!

VIR: (flips on light switch) Me! Karasu! Don't you remember? Gym class in high school? The locker room?

Kakashi: O.O I thought I got rid of you in therapy!

Karasu: (chooses to ignore statement) So, how do you propose we escape from here?

Kakashi: (confused look, then looks down at ankle where he sees its chained to the wall. Looks around room to see that it looks like a very white, dirty bathroom, notices Karasu is chained to wall across the room, in middle of the room a dead body lays face down in a pool of blood) No! This is just like the locker room incident! What the eff!

Karasu: (smirks) Oh, I think the locker room was waaaay more fun than this!

Kakashi: (looks around frantically for a way to get out) How do we get out? What do we do? (pulls chain on ankle, doesn't come off) No! We're stuck!

Karasu: And you've just realized this?

Kakashi: (sees that dead body in the middle of the room is holding a tape recorder) Maybe we need to get that. (points to recorder)

Karasu: You're closer, so get it.

Kakashi: Eww, no, you get it!

Karasu: No, I'm not getting near that shit, you get it!

Kakashi: But, it's grosssss!

Karasu: You've been around blood before! Plus, I don't want to ruin my hair, I just shampooed it a few hours ago!

Kakashi: (sighs) Fine, fine. (looks around and spots a very conveniently placed child's toy that is a small plastic pole with a crocodile at the end, where when you squeeze the lever the mouth opens and closes….reaches out toy and grabs tape recorder)

Karasu: Wow, that was easy.

Kakashi: (looks at tape recorder) Too easy…

Karasu: Press play! Press play!

Kakashi: (presses play)

Voice on Recorder: (a horrible imitation of a male's suspenseful voice) Hello, Karasu. I would like to play a game.

Karasu: YAY GAMES! Can we blow things up in these games?

VOR: And no, we cannot blow anything up.

Karasu: (looks down in defeat) Aww…

VOR: As you can see, you are chained to a wall. The answer to your problem lies in your pants.

Kakashi: (looks up from tape recorder with a strange and terrified look on face…well the part you can see)

Karasu: (smiles big)

VOR: Live or die. The choice is (coughs) yours. (click)

Karasu: So, I have to get this off my foot…with my happy stick?

Kakashi: (still holding tape recorder) I gue-…

New VOR: (regular female voice) Nori! Nori! You forgot about the saws! Tell them about the saws!

VOR: (which is also now a regular female voice) Damn! Death to all things cute and cuddly! (recorder clicks again, back to horrible male impression) Oh, yes, one more thing! There are two saws hidden somewhere in the room. Find them to free yourselves! Let the game begin! (click, back to female voice) Ha, finally got that over with! How many times did it take me?

Other Voice: Like ten times…at least.

VOR: Yea, but at least we got it now!

OV: True, true. Ugh, I have a strange craving for chocolate.

VOR: CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!! Why do you want some?

OV: I'm on my period.

VOR: Aw, that sucks. I'm sorry.

Kakashi and Karasu: (just look at each other)

OV: It's ok, it should be done soon. Then I can go back to doing Kurama!

VOR: YAY! Go you guys!

Karasu: Nooo! I've always wanted Kurama as my own!!!!

Kakashi: (look of fear)

OV: Nori! You forgot to turn off the recorder!

VOR: Oh shit! Not again! (recorder clicks off)

Karasu: (frantic) No, no, no! (starts to cry) This isn't happening! First I lose Kurama! Now I'm going to die!

Kakashi: Don't worry…we aren't in any real danger.

Karasu: How do you know! Did you hear what they said? Live or DIE! DIE was in that sentence meaning we are going to DIE!

Kakashi: Knowing those two they probably planned something really stupid.

Karasu: Wait? You know them? Weird, they sounded so evil and sinister!

Kakashi: Yea…they're anything but that.

Karasu: So…about the answer to all our problems being in my pants…uh when we get out of here…wanna…

Kakashi: NO! NO! NEVER! I'M NOT GAY! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! I LOVE HER VERY MUCH!

Karasu: Oh yea. I remember now. You guys reaaaallly do love each other. (winks)

Kakashi: What's that supposed to mean?

Karasu: Ohhh nothingggg…just that I've (talks really fast) seenyouguyshavingsexallthetime!

Kakashi: (jaw drops) How do you know where I live?

Karasu: (sighs) I guess I should tell you. Ever since we've graduated high school I've stalked you.

Kakashi: I'm…so…disturbed…right…now…

Karasu: So, about getting out of here. (unzips pants)

Kakashi: NO! NOT AGAIN! (covers eyes…well eye)

Karasu: (pulls a long saw out of pants) Wow, how did that get in there?

Kakashi: (slowly uncovers eye, sees saw) A saw! We can use that to cut through the chains!

Karasu: Oh, I thought we'd us it for-

Kakashi: Please…just don't finish that sentence.

Karasu: I was just gonna say-

Kakashi: No, just don't. Saw through your chain, I'll saw through mine, then we will get the hell out of here, in that time I will be getting a new address, and I will never have to see you…again!

Karasu: First I lost Kurama, then Koenma…now you…I've lost them all! (cries)

Kakashi: Koenma? Who the hell is Koenma?

Karasu: (immediately stops crying) The really sexy Prince of the Spirit World.

Kakashi: What? Do you like the letter 'K' or something?

Karasu: (looks down) Um, I, uh, have a bit of a fetish with the letter 'K'…

Kakashi: (to the side) I should warn Kisame…he's not safe…(looks up) Wait? Why should I care? He's the Akatsuki.

Karasu: What?

Kakashi: Nothing, just saw through the chain.

Karasu: Can I just blow it up?

Kakashi: No, that would kill both of us! Use. Saw. NOW!

Karasu: Ok, ok, jeez, don't get your panties in a bunch! (begins to saw through chains, saw breaks in half) Uh…oops…

Kakashi: (wide eyes…eye) O.O NO! NO NO NO! Please tell me that did not just break!

Karasu: That did not just break.

Kakashi: YES IT DID! IT BROKE! DAMN IT! (buries head in hands) No, this isn't happening. No…I need to get out of here! I'm going to go insane!

Karasu: I still could just blow it up, you know…

Kakashi: NO! DON'T BLOW SHIT UP!

Karasu: Jeesh, it was just a suggestion. So, what do we do?

Kakashi: (takes deep breath) Ok, Kakashi, just calm down. Think reasonably and you will get yourself out of this mess. Don't worry, its just Nori and Tama messing with you, nothing bad will happen.

Karasu: (weird look) Uh, dude, you're talking to yourself…

Kakashi: IT'S CALLED THINKING OUT LOUD! Ok…wait, maybe there is another tape around here to tell us another clue!

Karasu: Where though?

Kakashi: (thinks and sees the toilet next to him) Maybe it's in there…

Karasu: (scrunches face) Why would it be in there?

Kakashi: We're talking about Nori and Tama here…they think in strange ways…

Karasu: Maybe there's one in your pants too!

Kakashi: I'm not unzipping my pants near you, plus it probably is in the toilet. (crawls over to toilet and opens lid, gags at horrible smell then sticks hand in the disgusting water, searching for another tape)

Karasu: (tries and sees if he has anything) Did you find it?

Kakashi: (pulls out hand and looks at it in disgust) No. Nothing…

Karasu: Just check your pants!

Kakashi: It won't be there! It's too obvious and they aren't smart enough to think of that!

Karasu: (shrugs and lays on back, relaxing) Whaaatever. You keep looking. Just tell me if you need anything blown up.

Kakashi: (continues to search around where he can reach for another tape)

One Hour Later 

Kakashi: GAH! I still can't find that friggin' tape!

Karasu: (is asleep)

Kakashi: (sees that Karasu is asleep, looks down at pants) Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to check…(unzips pants, tape falls out, face fault) They are IDIOTS!

Karasu: (suddenly wakes up) No, daddy, you shouldn't touch me like that!

Kakashi: (just stares at Karasu)

Karasu: (remembers where he is) Uh…I plead the fifth.

Kakashi: I'm just going to ignore that. (holds up tape) Let's listen to it. (puts it in tape recorder)

VOR: (still a very horrible impression of a man's voice) Kakashi Hatake. A skilled jonin at the village of Kono-Konohag-Konohagagur…Konohagakure! Killing to save the lives of others. But, you have one large secret that you keep from the world.

Kakashi: I don't have any secrets…(shifty eyes)

VOR: The secret that you hold from everyone around you is that your sheets have been soaking for the first twenty-five years of your life. I mean, who wouldn't want to kill someone who does that?

Kakashi and Karasu: What the hell?

VOR: To live you must betray the one closest to you. If you don't, you will die…let the game begin. (click)

Kakashi: I have to betray the one closest to me? I don't get it.

Karasu: Don't ask me. (lays back down and snickers) You still wet the bed?

Kakashi: (groans) No! I don't know where they got that from! So…to get out I need to betray the one closest to me? The one closest to me is Kurenai…I would never betray her!

Karasu: Great, we're stuck in here then!

Kakashi: (ignores Karasu) How could I even betray Kurenai while I'm in here? She probably doesn't even know where I am!

Karasu: I just think we should blow the living shit out of this place…that would solve everything!

Kakashi: SHUT UP! (sighs) We aren't blowing anything up. Ok, I think we need another tape for another hint.

Karasu: Why do you always think the answers to our problems are always on a tape? That's not how life is you know!

Kakashi: It's worked out for us so far.

Karasu: No it hasn't…

Kakashi: Yea, it has…

Karasu: We're still stuck here, so it really hasn't! (grins triumphantly)

Kakashi: Touché…

Karasu: Thank you. (looks over at a mirror that is dusty, in the dust is written "Don't Look In The Bathtub") Hey, Kakashi, maybe we should look in the bathtub.

Kakashi: Why would we do-

Karasu: (points to mirror)

Kakashi: (face faults) Oh… (crawls over the bathtub near him, peeks over and sees a pirate staring at him)

Pirate: Arg matey! Fer that ye walk the plank!

Kakashi: (looks at Karasu) A pirate…?

Karasu: A PIRATE! I know how to speak pirate!

Kakashi: No, you don't…

Karasu: Yea, yea! I really do!

Kakashi: (ignores Karasu…again) Uh, pirate…do you know how to get out of here?

Pirate: (confused look)

Karasu: Scurvy, tuberculosis, booty!

Pirate: (pops up and smiles) Mutiny!

Karasu: Doubloons, treasure, Davey Jones?

Pirate: Parlé, ship, Jack Sparrow!

Karasu: Ah, ah, _Captain_ Jack Sparrow.

Pirate: Ayy, cannon balls!

Kakashi: What is going on?

Karasu: (in a surprisingly chipper tone) The pirate told me that we need to saw through our legs, not the chains, to get out of here!

Kakashi: What!? Why? Plus we don't have another saw…yours broke…

Pirate: (smiles and holds up saw)

Kakashi: (hits himself in head) I just HAD to say that…

Karasu: Oh yea, one more thing, about the whole you having to betray the one closest to you, they didn't mean the one you cared about the most, they literally meant the one **closest** to you!

Kakashi: (is suddenly happy) So, you?

Karasu: (shakes head and points at the pirate)

Kakashi: (frowns) How do you kill a pirate?

Karasu: That's easy! All you have to do is cut off their wooden leg! Without that they're powerless!

Kakashi: Um…ok..(begins to saw off pirate's wooden leg)

Pirate: (just lays there) AH NO!!! SHIVER ME TIMBERS! (leg snaps off…dies)

Kakashi: (holds wooden leg) Wow, that was easy. Now what?

Karasu: I don't know, its not like I speak pirate or anything!

Kakashi: (face fault) There's nothing in the pirate leg…

Karasu: (shrugs) Why don't we just blow something up…

Kakashi: No!

Karasu: (holds up a ticking bomb) Aww, but I got this ready…

Kakashi: AH! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US!

Bomb: (giggles and goes boom)

The room explodes and Kakashi and Karasu are both left with ash around and on them…but are still chained up.

Karasu: YAY! EXPLOSIONS!

Kakashi: THAT DIDN'T HELP ANYTHING WE'RE STILL CHAINED!

Karasu: Aw…

Then, Nori and Tama come riding up on a tyrannosaurus rex.

Tama: Hey guys!

Nori: HIYA! (sees pirate) OH NO! THE PIRATE HE'S BACK! (hides under dinosaur)

Kakashi: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!

Karasu: Hi dudettes!

Tama: Why what happened?

Kakashi: You guys got us put into this thing! Now, GET US OUT!

Nori: (from under dinosaur) No we didn't. Why would we put you guys here?

Kakashi: You could easily tell who was talking on the tapes!

Tama: Uh, what are you on, dude?

Nori: Yea…uh…can you please get rid of that pirate…

Kakashi: First get us out of here.

Nori: I don't know how! Did you try a password?

Karasu: A password?

Nori: Yea, like huevos rancheros, or something!

Chains: (open and free Kakashi and Karasu)

Kakashi: (faints)

Karasu: YAY! This is just like the locker room!

Tama: What?

Karasu: Nothing.

Nori: Well, we should get him and leave.

Karasu: (picks up Kakashi and gets on t-rex along with Nori and Tama)

Then the four all ride off into the sunset back to Konoha.

END.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Nori: YAY DONE!

Tama: Holy shit…and since when do YYH people live in Konoha?

Nori: Oh, they don't.

Tama: Will you please go to therapy like everyone has suggested before?

Nori: I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! Read and review please!

Tama: No flames….


End file.
